This is a book that just keeps giving. I bought it quite a while ago and really did not read it right away --- but ultimately I read the whole thing -- and I must admit I found myself appearing again and again in the descriptions.

But what really is great about this book is that if you just leave it on the coffee table or something like that, then you will find yourself picking it up and randomly looking at a chapter here and a chapter there -- and guess what -- it will all be relevant (if you are being honest with yourself). You will find yourself, your peers, coworkers, and your life.

Worth having.

My wife bought the book and I was sceptical when I first saw it. I accidentally left it on a low table and our puppy picked it up and shredded most of the first chapter. I bought another copy from Amazon to replace the damaged copy. As I tried to repair the torn pages a few words caught my attention and after that I could not put it down. Take it from an initial sceptic that this book has very helpful suggestions and practical advice that you can readily apply. I highly recommend this book to anybody who is working.

This book was assigned reading for a "Leadership" in business class. The first two chapters set the tone for the rest of the book. Read those, and the rest will be just variations on the same theme. I now use the book as a doorstop.

As a veteran of the corporate world, I found the case studies and recommended solutions to common workplace snafus right on target. Best of all, the authors urge individuals to find out their options and own their decisions. In other words, no need to be the victim of an unhealthly work relationship. Hope is out there for those who can take a step back and not get tangled up in other person's bad behavior!

With all the glowing reviews, I thought this book would have something new and innovative, something I hadn't heard before. No such luck. Some interesting strategies and tactics for dealing with difficult people and see how you might be contributing to the problem, but nothing you won't find in other books on the subject.

I eventually gave up before finishing the CD because of the lack of anything new and I got tired of listen to the authors :-(

This book absolutely covers everyone you have always worked with, worked for, or managed. It is uncanny. This book is an easy to understand, sensible, easily doable guide to handle "problems" that arise with co-workers, managers, and employees.
I urge anyone who feels themselves "obsessed" with work to please take some time to enjoy this easy to read guide.

freeing yourself is for folks who really are struggling with communication skills and do not have a strong independent critical thinking element. I hoped that it would really address deeper levels of problem solving but it does not. Quick read.

Having worked in the wireless industry for over 16 years, I was immediately drawn to the title of this book. Upon further thought though, the appeal of this book for me has less to do with wireless and more to do with the variety of different personalities I've encountered in my professional life - regardless of the industry.

A lot of books offer advice on how to deal with difficult people - particularly in personal relationships. This book takes a turn at helping people learn to cope with the personalities they have to deal with at work. Katherine Crowley is a psychotherapist and Kathi Elster is a small business expert; together they describe themselves as "undercover business therapists." While their focus on professional relationships is new, their message is familiar - "you can't change other people's behavior, but you can change your reaction to it."

Unhooking is the Key
The authors explain that changing your reaction starts with finding ways to "unhook" yourself from the situation, and they give specific examples of ways to tell - both physically and emotionally - whether you are 'hooked". Symptoms include headaches and fatigue, anger, depression and forgetfulness. Their "Four Pronged Unhooking Technique" is simple and is good, practical advice for anyone dealing with difficult people at work.

Not all Theory
While a lot of books give you theories on dealing with others, "Working With You is Killing Me" gives tips and examples on how to use the technique in real life business situations. And they don't assume it's only co-workers who drive you nuts: tips for obnoxious bosses are also presented.

Managing Up, Down and Sideways
Crowley and Elster not only deal with how to work with a difficult boss (Managing Up), their term for managing a team of people, or "Managing Down" - "Business Parenting" hits the mark perfectly (take it from someone who has managed large teams of people -- I could completely relate to their analogy of "problem children" as I read this section).

I also found the quiz that the authors present to help readers determine if their job is a good fit to be very helpful. Every company has its own culture and personality type that excels within that culture. This quiz is an effective tool to help you determine if the company or job you are in is the right one for you.

Considering the amount of stress workplace disharmony causes - on everyone involved - this is an important book. I found it easy-to-read with simple, practical steps that can be easily implemented in real life. I highly recommend it to anyone who is struggling with a co-worker, boss or subordinate at work!

You know the type at work--the egocentric boss that likes to demean you with sarcastic comments (but he's only **joking**)and you do 9 out of 10 things right but it's that 1 that bothers him and he takes you to task for it. The co-worker who uses your space all the time leaving his trash on you desk (or in your car if you do outside sales). These are the types of people that cross the line and can make work a toxic experience.

Your also in this book as well. You may be the hero, the rebel one of many different types that are branded by co-workers and bosses because of one or two things you've done. It's effected your career and inadvertantly your life.

Authors Katherine Crowley and Kathi Elster (one is a business owner/consultant the other a therapist)discuss ways to "unhook" from these experiences to allow you to get through them. If the behavior continues (after you've taken corrective action--if it's a boss it's more difficult to do and you usually need to prepare your resume. They're upfront about when that time arrives, too.)they suggest ways to deal with it either through suggesting ways to change behavior or to leave the company.

The suggestions are good if a bit simplistic for example it may take a lot more work than is hinted at in the book to try and change behavior (if you can and admittedly they are the first to suggest that you probably can't except for yourself)but they provide steps that would help you to do so if the person has any self awareness of how toxic they can be (and if not they make suggestions to help you make them aware of it politely). Overall this is a terrific book that will help you "detach" and live your life vs. live your work.

The CD was very easy listening. Most of the CD/book spent time explaining tools you may already understand, but may not know how to use. The books is helpful to anyone just starting their career and have to work in a large office space. The hooks and types of people at work were very interesting. I thought the explanation of how to handle the siuation when a peer announces your idea as their own during a meeting to be pretty helpful. This actually does happen quite a bit, especially in the consulting areas.

This book has it all. Good sound advice for dealing with all those Pain in the a*#! I wished I'd had this book years ago ...it would have saved me from many sleepless nights. It has given me the tools to identify and overcome the many challenges of corporate life.

How many of us have worked with people who drive us crazy--many of us.
No matter how much experience we have or how little experience we have, this book is a great reference to rethink working with difficult people. Authors, Kathi Elster and Katherine Crowley have nailed it!!!

Thank you both
Sherri Rosen
Sherri Rosen Publicity LLC, NYC

Crowley and Elster have written a refreshing and extremely helpful book on how to deal with problem people and situations. The book focuses on work relationships, but I found it very useful dealing with people in all walks of life, including my family. I have the Hardcover and Audio versions and use both. I recommended the book or audio version (Audible.com) to anyone who has a problem with work relationships or any other relationship. This is a perfect book to give a graduating Seniors or College students as they get ready to join the business world. It is a must read for everyone in business!

I have just finished reading
Working With You is Killing Me. This book is dead on in describing co-workers behavior and how to deal with them realistically.
I learned a lot from this book and
I took this information and applied it to my work life and the unhooking
mentally and physically really works.

Crowley and Elster have created a 'must read' for anyone who has ever worked or managed. The strategies for "unhooking" from toxic people in the workplace can salvage any employee's passion and increase satisfaction and productivity.

How often has someone you work with driven you completely up the wall, and you swear you can't take it anymore? What's the matter with them, you mutter, why can't they just change so they aren't so annoying? Perhaps it is time to rethink things.

Let's face it, they aren't ever going to change, so instead, why not change your reaction to their maddening behavior? Or maybe the problem isn't your nutty co-worker or boss. Did you ever stop to
think that you might just be your own worst enemy at work by dint of your irritating quirks?


Whatever your work situation, this book has with not only the symptoms but also the cure for what ails you. The authors use questionnaires, anecdotes, and specific scenarios to come up with solutions to various work situations.

Katherine Crowley, a Harvard-trained psychotherapist, and Kathi Elster, a small business expert, combined their expertise in this book.

Each chapter describes the problem behavior, how you might be
exacerbating the problem, and actions you can take to change your
reaction to the behavior and thereby create a different result. The
authors believe that the one factor having the most impact on a satisfying work environment is being able to master your state of mind, and after reading this book, I agree.

They describe emotional "hooks" and delineate steps you can take to "unhook" yourself, along with setting boundaries at work.

They describe the "Fatal Attractions," who suck you into their webs: the exploder, the empty pit, saboteur, pedestal smasher, and the chip-on-the-shoulder, all of whom make life miserable.

But managers also have their own crosses to bear in the form of parenting their recalcitrant charges, the employees, a.k.a. the chronically delayed, MIA, cynics, passive-aggressives,
attention-seekers, bad attitudes, slugs, addicts, and the thief.

The authors' contention that..."If you can change your reaction,

you'll change your life" resonated with me--not only in terms of my job, but also my life--and this book illuminated this for me.

Armchair Interviews says: If you don't have someone at work who drives you a little batty, you must work alone. This book is worth the read.

There is a lot to like about "Working With You Is Killing Me."

The authors use their years of business experience to cleverly categorize a number of boss types, work methods, co-worker habits, attitude issues, leadership styles et als. that are harmful to your working experience - and offer the means to overcome ("unhook from") them, often beginning with a massage, or a run, or walking the dog, or getting a facial to purge bad karma and rethink potential options. Putting a form of scientific method to resolving work related problems - including the reader's assessment of their own role in the problem - is a big part of the text. It provides an organized and controllable process to attempt issue resolution.

For me, the best part of the book, however, was the subject of "Managing Up," in which the authors urge their readers to take more control over their disappointing managers by using that same scientific method to manage them to preferred solutions. Good advice.

And, there are a number of self-help exercises to assess your fit with Corporate Culture, or to determine if you are hooked (emotionally distressed) by a "Fatal Attraction"-type manager etc. Again - good stuff and helpful to think about for many people, particularly the less experience workforce.

Still, I was caught in a bit of a dilemma. The book is written from the point of view of what do you do when someone else is causing emotional discomfort to you - as if you are the center of the universe. OK - that's why you bought the book. But, survey results from reputable researchers show that the primary reason for people remaining with their jobs is that they like their co-workers. Even more than their commitment to the work they do, they begin with liking their co-workers. Therefore, a collegial environment is critical to employee retention, customer satisfaction and business performance. This clearly suggests that there is a corresponding responsibility for each worker to fit in with their colleagues - even if minor personality traits or managerial quirks exist, and they always do.

The workplace isn't typically about achieving personalized justice, as much as it is about intelligent people grouping together to form an efficiently running and productive organization. Readers should not lose focus of this. Otherwise - "You" may be the person referenced as killing the climate (and your co-workers) in your quest to untrap yourself of the personal demons that ruin your day.

Overall, a good book, and a solid reference to have handy.