Amazon.com Customer Reviews
A WONDERFULLY FUNNY FILM... - Review written on July 11, 2006
Rating: 5 out of 5
1 customer found this review not to be helpful.
When this movie first came out, I passed on it, mistakenly believing it to be a football film. Was I ever wrong! It is a terrific black comedy, with wonderful performances by Matthew Perry, the ever cool Bruce Willis, Michael Clarke Duncan, and a break out performance by Amanda Peet. Quite frankly, the movie is just plain hilarious, and a little gem of a film which one could happily see again and again, as I already have, and laugh each and every time.
Matthew Perry is wonderful as the hapless everyman, a dentist who finds himself living in Canada with his witchy French-Canadian wife who is, decidedly, not in love with him. His shrewish wife, played by Rosanna Arquette with a French accent which is over the top and laughable, wants to have her husband bumped off for insurance money.
As luck would have it, a notorious Chicago based hit man, with a mob contract out on his own life, just happens to move in next door to the unhappily married duo. This hit man, coolly played to perfection by Bruce Willis, meets his neighbor, Matthew, who also happens to be from Chicago. Bruce looks familiar to Matthew who ultimately recognizes him for who he is. While initially unnerved by Bruce, they somehow hit it off.
Matthew, however, foolishly tells his wife that he believes the neighbor to be a hit man with a price on his head, and the games begin. She sends Matthew to Chicago to have him give up their neighbor, the hit man, for the contract money. Matthew goes, mainly to appease her, as he really has no intention of giving up his new found friend.
Meanwhile, no sooner does he leave, than she herself goes to the neighbor to give her husband up in hopes that he will get rid of her husband for her. In the interim, Matthew is met in Chicago by Michael Clarke Duncan who takes him to the mob boss who wants to bump off Bruce. There, Matthew meets Bruce's wife, with whom he becomes smitten. What transpires next compels Matthew to return to Canada, where he gets the surprise of his life. This all sets in motion a series of events which will have the viewer howling with laughter.
Needless to say, there are numerous unexpected twists and turns in this movie, all of which contribute to its success as a black comedy. This film is, undoubtedly, one of the best in this genre. Michael Clarke Duncan, who also happens to play a hit man, gives an ingratiating performance as Bruce Willis' buddy. Amanda Peet is absolutely hilarious as a hit man wanna be. I do not want, however, to give away any more of the plot. Suffice to say, watch this film. You will not be disappointed. In fact, you will be too busy, laughing up a storm. Enjoy!
The Whole of Nine Yards - Review written on May 28, 2006
Rating: 4 out of 5
1 customer found this review helpful.
The intensity of this movie comes from the tension between the character of Jimmy "the Tulip" Tudeski, played by Bruce Willis, and Nicholas "Oz" Oseransky, played by Matthew Perry. The former is a notorious hit man and the latter is a miserable dentist whose wife wants him to die soon in order to get his life insurance money. When Oz, in all his innocence and fear, gets to know Jimmy the situation begins to get increasingly humorous. Jimmy's quirks of believing divorce a crime and hating mayonnaise on his hamburger add another twist to the humor. The story itself becomes more twisted when Oz falls in love with Cynthia, Jimmy's ex-wife, and Jimmy eventually falls in love with Jill, an assassin who was hired by Oz's wife to kill Oz. In a situation heating up by the moment, Oz offers to resolve the situation by planting a duplicate copy of Jimmy's teeth on a dead cop's corpse. Being then officially dead, Jimmy finds himself no longer the husband of Cynthia and the death certificates of Jimmy and his former mob boss Janni Gogolak turns out to be worth ten million dollars. The complexity of love and humor between a hit man and a dentist keeps the intensity of the humor high right to the end.
A WONDERFULLY FUNNY FILM... - Review written on April 16, 2006
Rating: 5 out of 5
1 customer found this review helpful.
When this movie first came out, I passed on it, mistakenly believing it to be a football film. Was I ever wrong! It is a terrific black comedy, with wonderful performances by Matthew Perry, the ever cool Bruce Willis, Michael Clarke Duncan, and a break out performance by Amanda Peet. Quite frankly, the movie is just plain hilarious, and a little gem of a film which one could happily see again and again, as I already have, and laugh each and every time.
Matthew Perry is wonderful as the hapless everyman, a dentist who finds himself living in Canada with his witchy French-Canadian wife who is, decidedly, not in love with him. His shrewish wife, played by Rosanna Arquette with a French accent which is over the top and laughable, wants to have her husband bumped off for insurance money.
As luck would have it, a notorious Chicago based hit man, with a mob contract out on his own life, just happens to move in next door to the unhappily married duo. This hit man, coolly played to perfection by Bruce Willis, meets his neighbor, Matthew, who also happens to be from Chicago. Bruce looks familiar to Matthew who ultimately recognizes him for who he is. While initially unnerved by Bruce, they somehow hit it off.
Matthew, however, foolishly tells his wife that he believes the neighbor to be a hit man with a price on his head, and the games begin. She sends Matthew to Chicago to have him give up their neighbor, the hit man, for the contract money. Matthew goes, mainly to appease her, as he really has no intention of giving up his new found friend.
Meanwhile, no sooner does he leave, than she herself goes to the neighbor to give her husband up in hopes that he will get rid of her husband for her. In the interim, Matthew is met in Chicago by Michael Clarke Duncan who takes him to the mob boss who wants to bump off Bruce. There, Matthew meets Bruce's wife, with whom he becomes smitten. What transpires next compels Matthew to return to Canada, where he gets the surprise of his life. This all sets in motion a series of events which will have the viewer howling with laughter.
Needless to say, there are numerous unexpected twists and turns in this movie, all of which contribute to its success as a black comedy. This film is, undoubtedly, one of the best in this genre. Michael Clarke Duncan, who also happens to play a hit man, gives an ingratiating performance as Bruce Willis' buddy. Amanda Peet is absolutely hilarious as a hit man wanna be. I do not want, however, to give away any more of the plot. Suffice to say, watch this film. You will not be disappointed. In fact, you will be too busy, laughing up a storm. Enjoy!
Black Comedy at It's Best - Review written on July 24, 2005
Rating: 5 out of 5
I have always been a huge fan of comedy films,and I have always enjoyed black comedy also--comedy that is a little dark usually tends to be interesting,and that is how it works--you get comedy with a little bit of chemistry to it. And how does one of the first(if not the first)black comedy films of 2000,THE WHOLE NINE YARDS,meausure up? Read on for my review of this:
Nicholas "Oz" Ozeransky(Matthew Perry)is a very unhappy dentist who lives in Canada.His wife,Sophie(Rosanna Arquette)is pretty much a pain in his rear end,and the only reason he married her was because he had to. Things can't be worse for Oz,and it seems that to him that he will be unhappy for the rest of his life.
And then,one day,something strange,surprising,and something a little bit creepy happens. When Oz is outside,he sees that he and his wife have a new neighbor. And after talking to this new neighbor,Oz discovers that the new neighbor is Jimmy "The Tulip" Tudeski(Bruce Willis)a hitman who has killed over twenty people and sends tulips to his victim's funerals. Oz has known who Tudeski is for several years now,and once he finds out that Tudeski himself is his new neighbor,he wants to leave Canada--right here and right now. But his wife isn't up for that. It turns out that Tudeski is hiding out from Janni Gogolak(Kevin Pollak)one of his(Tudeski's)former partners,so Sophie has the perfect plan. The plan is that Oz will fly to Chicago(where the Gogolak family hangs out),meet Yanni himself,and tell him that he knows where Jimmy is. Oz goes--except he is not even up there to rat out Jimmy. The only reason why he is really up there is because Sophie has promised him the divorce he has wanted for years now if he does that for her,and he just wants her off of his back. But when Jimmy has word of everything and sends his former partner Frankie Figgs(Michael Clarke Duncan)up to Chiacgo to find Oz,Oz really is in for a meeting with Yanni Gogolak,and then,several funny,dark,and hillarious events happen.
I really enjoyed THE WHOLE NINE YARDS. It is my favorite black comedy film,as well as one of my favorite movies of all time. The chemistry here is really funny--and I like the performances in this film a lot also. Matthew Perry is sort of Chandler in Canada in this film,and Bruce Willis is kind of both David Addison and John McClain--except this time,he is a hitman. Having Bruce Willis and Matthew Perry in a movie together was a really smart idea,because in this film,both Willis and Perry work together really well. I'd say that this film shows Bruce Willis,Matthew Perry,and Michael Clarke Duncan at their best comedically. And with a funny story,a funny script,and a DVD with cool bonus feautures(an interview gallery with the cast,the film's theatrical trailer,filmographies,among other cool bonus feautures)THE WHOLE NINE YARDS is one film(and one DVD)you can't go wrong with.
Highly Recommended!
A surprisingly good comedy - Review written on June 29, 2005
Rating: 4 out of 5
1 customer found this review helpful.
This movie was actually surprisingly funny with a good cast including Matthew Perry, Bruce Willis, Michael Clarke Duncan and Amanda Peet. The plot is centered around a dentist living in Canada named Oz (Matthew Perry) whose wife is crazy. Their marriage isn't at all a happy one. And then one day, Oz gets a new neighbor. He goes over to greet him, and finds out that his name is Jimmy Tudeski (Bruce Willis). He then realizes that Jimmy "the tulip" is a contract killer. So, obviously, Oz is freaked out now.
What's funny about the movie is how scared Oz is of Jimmy. He's always nervous and quite scared and makes really strange remarks. It's a funny movie that will deliver plenty of laughs. Willis, Perry, Duncan, and Kevin Pollak all deliver great laughs. A good cast, an original plot and many funny moments make this comedy a winner.
Good morning Mr. Next Door Neigbor Hit Man - Review written on April 07, 2005
Rating: 3 out of 5
3 customers found this review helpful, 2 did not.
Matthew Perry (Tv's Friends, Fools Rush In) plays dentist Oz who meets his new next door neighbor who just happens to be hitman Jimmy "The Tulip" Tudeski, played by Bruce Willis (Sin City, Pulp Fiction). Perry soon becomes friends with Willis and ends up getting involved with his wife, Nastacha Henstridge (Maximum Risk, Adrenelin: Fear The Rush) and the 2 end up in love. Bad dude Yanni Gogalak, played by the hilarious Kevin Pollack (Stolen Summer, The Usual Suspects) wants Willis dead. Soon, havoc breaks loose at the end with a climatic shootout and some Amanda Peet (Whipped, Saving Silverman) being skin and yeah, but its funny and different. Michael Clarke Duncan (Sin City, Armageddon), Harland Williams (Half Baked, There's Something About Mary) and Rosanna Arquette (CRASH '96) also star. Followed in 2004 by The Whole Ten Yards which should of been scrap metal and not even been made.
2 1/2 stars "Life's a comedy. It's all in the execution." - Review written on October 30, 2004
Rating: 3 out of 5
1 customer found this review helpful, 2 did not.
The "Whole Nine Yards" is a mildly entertaining and passably enjoyable affair. It neither exults nor repels, neither makes one laugh uncontrollably nor cringe; it just is. There is nothing about this film that in any way distinguishes it from the sea of hit man/mob comedies floating around.
And let me say this, if it weren't for Bruce Willis and his wonderfully funny performance as the sensitive hit man, Jimmy `The Tulip' Tudeski, "The Whole Nine Yards" would've been a complete disaster. Willis, even through some of the weaker scenes, elevates the performances of his costars (Matthew Perry, Amanda Peet, Natasha Henstridge, and Rosaana Arquette) and the overall quality of the film with his powerful star presence.
Honestly, I expected more from this film. More laughs, to be precise. When you have a film and its whole premise is ridiculous to begin with and with each scene gets progressively goofier, one expects some serious humor. As things get sillier and sillier, the laughs slowly drift away until you are left stone-faced during the intended "hysterical moments" of the climax. A disappointment.
Smart, funny, good entertainment. - Review written on August 19, 2004
Rating: 5 out of 5
2 customers found this review helpful, 1 did not.
This movie has more twists and turns than a mountain road. The cast is great starting out with the marvelously talented Bruce Willis. Matthew Perry, Rosanna Arquette, Michael Clarke Duncan, Amanda Peet. The premis is perfect for this sort of dark comedy. The main character played wonderfully by Matthew Perry is funny, sharp witted and makes you get in the guys' corner right from the start. The man has more than a couple of reasons to suck carbon monoxide but he continues on in spite of being a dentist married to a shrew that wants him dead for monetary reasons, his new neighbor is a nororious hit man for the Chicago mob that has anger management problems, and his dental receptionist is secretly a beginner in the hit man game plotting his demise for his shrew wife. There, now the story is set except for the romantic interest the gorgeous Nastasha Henstridge who just happens to be the wife of Bruce Willis, Matthews' new neighbor. I tell you, what's not to like about this mix of dripping satire and ill born love at first sight. On the surface the movie seems like another one of the usual Hollywood "just for the money" movies, but, give it a chance and it will definitely grab your attention despite a short sequence of gratuitous T&A featuring Amanda Peet that really isn't needed. All told you have a witty, funny and very entertaining movie that you will want to enjoy again and again. What can I say about the comic genius of Bruce Willis, a man that can bring off the comedic punchline as well as chill you to the bone with characters like the Jackal. Matthew Perry is a very funny part of this movie with just enough slapstick and not too much to irritate. Sometimes the critics are looking for more than us average viewers are looking for and that is their job, but sometimes the critics forget that the word entertainment literally means to "not think". After a hard day at the office I love to be entertained with a good comedy even a dark comedy like this one. You can't go wrong if you get this one but you might want to restrict viewing by family members that are too young to watch, let alone appreciate this one.
Cleverly entertaining - Review written on July 09, 2004
Rating: 4 out of 5
While this may not be my absolutely favorite film with Bruce Willis ,it is still great. First off, all of the acting is significanly brilliant. But consider that a bonus, the story here is what really counts. I picked up this movie expecting it to be a half-decent, but still entertaining flick (considering I picked it up cheap). To tell the truth, I probably wouldn't have bought it if it wasn't rated R. However, it is an extremely mild movie. Consider it a PG-13 movie with an extensive nude scene. Either way, I was enthralled with how great the plot was. There were so many unexpected twists and genuinely hilarious dialogue, it made the movie extremely loveable. Take my word for it and get this movie, you won't be dissapointed.
great cast, and great humor - Review written on February 10, 2004
Rating: 4 out of 5
1 customer found this review helpful.
Loaded with a great cast of actors!!!! The movie is set in Canada, all was calm untill a hit man moves into the house next door to Nick (Matt Perry). His wife a money hungry women decides to try to see if there is a price on Jimmys head for ratting out the boss. The hit man is Jimmy "The Tulip" (Bruce Wills) he is hiding out after turning in a head mob boss. And now the son of the head boss has taken over the company and wants Jimmy dead!!!
Nick sets off on a journey set up by his wife. Nick is off to try and locate the son of the boss to let him know of Jimmy living in Canada. Now things begin to get interesting Nick actually likes Jimmy and does not want to turn him over to the new boss. Nicks problem become worse when he later finds out that his wife is trying to have him killed too. The movie has a few twists and turns that make it great to watch.
This all around is a solid movie with great humor and a great cast!!
What Next? A - Review written on November 20, 2003
Rating: 1 out of 5
6 customers found this review not to be helpful.
This "Mafia comedy" wants us to laugh at cruelty and violence. Well, comedies have done this since the times of the ancient Greeks, so what's the problem? Well, it all depends on (a) the motive of the perp(s), (b) the character of the victim(s), (c) the degree of harm done, and (d) the outcome of the plot. Here, the perps all have a smarmy side, including the often-adorable Rosanna Arquette and the so-far-adorable Amanda Peet. One of the victims is a "good cop" (NOT a cop on the take or who's abusing his power). He is distracted by Peet who flashes her breasts--and then he's killed. And Willis & Co. all get away with whatever they do, including betraying some of their own. Funny? >sign< Not to me. Overall this tired, cliche-ridden film has no one to for us to care about and has the moral center of (if you can believe any of the newspapers) the top executives at Enron. (PITCH TO THE DIRECTOR: Maybe a "comedy" could be filmed about them!)
Kind of funny. Sometimes. - Review written on April 10, 2003
Rating: 2 out of 5
1 customer found this review helpful, 2 did not.
Summary:
Nicholas 'Oz' Oseransky (Matthew Perry) is a struggling dentist. His wife, Sophie Oseransky (Rosanna Arquette), is the daughter of his former business partner who also happened to embezzle a bunch of money then kill himself, leaving Oz in a lot of debt. We don't ever know why Oz and Sophie married, but their marriage is horrible. Then, out of the blue, Jimmy 'The Tulip' Tudeski (Bruce Willis), a former hitman for the Chicago Gogolak crime family, moves in next door. Oz immediately recognizes him and tells Sophie, who has the brilliant idea of turning him in for the bounty on his head to pay off the loans and even entices Oz with a divorce if he'll do it.
So Oz heads off to Chicago to contact the mafia while Sophie goes over to Jimmy's house and tells him what Oz is up to. Sophie also tries to hire Jimmy to kill Oz - Jimmy is the second hitperson (I say 'hitperson' because the first was a woman) she has tried to hire for this - but Jimmy turns her down. She then takes off to Niagara Falls and seduces a third hitperson. Meanwhile, Oz, who never really had any intention of telling the Gogolak crime family where Jimmy was, finds himself tracked down by a member of the crime family, Frankie Figs (Michael Clarke Duncan), and taken to see the head of the family, Janni Pytor Gogolak (Kevin Pollak). Oz is then forced to admit he knows where Jimmy lives and is going to be accompanied by Frankie back to Canada to show him. But before he can go back to Canada, Jimmy's wife, who wants a divorce as well, Cynthia Tudeski (Natasha Henstridge), visits with him. They fall for each other and end up having sex.
When Oz gets back to Canada accompanied by Frankie, he realizes that Jimmy and Frankie are in cahoots and then participates in their plot to entice Janni and Cynthia back to Canada so Jimmy can kill them in order to withdraw ... million(s). Janni's dad gave it to Jimmy and Cynthia as a wedding gift, but it was really just a tricky way to shelter the money from the government. The only problem is that it requires three signatures or at least one signature and two death certificates to withdraw the money. So, Janni is planning to kill Cynthia and Jimmy while Jimmy is trying to kill Cynthia and Janni and Oz is now in love with Cynthia but deathly afraid of everyone else. So, Oz has to try to come up with a plan that will prevent Cynthia from being killed.
the movie is very easy to follow and I won't ruin it by spoiling the end.
...
I doubt I ever would have paid money to rent this movie, so seeing it on TV or getting it from the library was about the only way I would have been exposed to it. As it turns out, it was on TV and I was pleasantly surprised. Though it won't ever rank among the best movies ever made, it is kind of funny. However, the acting isn't superb. As much as I like Matthew Perry in Friends, he just doesn't seem to have what it takes to do movies. Rosanna Arquette doesn't seem to be acting, and Amanda Peet comes across as a supermodel who has never acted in her life. Perhaps that is all okay, but, other than Bruce Willis playing the tough guy role, which he does fairly well, and Michael Clark Duncan, the rest of the cast was, well, was pretty bad.
The major redeeming quality was that the story was intriguing, well thought out, and funny. There were enough twists and turns to keep you wondering what would happen next and there were no holes left in the plot, at least none that I spotted. So, while this isn't going to win an Oscar for anyone on the cast, the movie itself might actually be fun to watch on a Friday night with a large group of friends.