This book isn't worthless, but it's not very good either. Cabot encourages women to be positive, specific and proactive in their approach to men, which I appreciate. She devotes a good portion of the book to the "love languages"--auditory, visual, and feeling. This information, so long as it's not pushed to the extreme or used by a manipulator, is interesting and could help people in any sort of relationship. However, ultimately, this is still a "man-hunting" book, with all that that phrase implies. I think that Cabot's approach requires a bit of tunnel vision, a bit of obsession about men, and a lot of manipulation. Take what you can from it, but I think that Sherry Argov's Why Men Love [...]is a better investment.

got the book in record time and read the whole thing the night I received it

After breaking up from my relationship i was told about a book called "the rules." I searched long and hard for this book, and once finding it, everything i read; i related to. This left me wanting to know more about this subject. I found "How to Make a Man Fall in Love with You : The Fail-Proof, Fool-Proof Method" a very learned read! I found interesting the debth of which the author has recorded seeminly every single little mistake that most women make once in a relationship.

I refer to "the rules" as my bible and "How to Make a Man Fall in Love with You : The Fail-Proof, Fool-Proof Method" as my A to Z dating do's and dont's. I really beleive that these two books complement one another and should be recommended reading for any pre-teen, teen, young adult or mature aged woman both single and or committed women.

This book is a fantastic read in which I highly recommend!

She does have an interesting theory that every man is either a "seeing" "Feeling" or "hearing" man and depending on which they are is how you communicate with them. Since I have not applied her methods I am not going to say it doesn't work, but "Make up, Don't Break up" makes much more sense in understanding men & being able to get closer to them.

We all have our own idea of the ideal man don't we girls ? I get all flushed at the thought of a big, dominant hairy bear, taking me as his girl and making me swoon at his manliness. But how can you make sure to meet the hunk of your dreams ? Tracy Cabot's super book will help.

In the first chapter, Tracy tells us how to avoid the 'b#####d trap' and identifies 10 different `b#####d types' and questions us girls should ask ourselves about the guy we are dating. This useful for girls who've dated b######s before and need help spotting the signs. For an ugly girl like me it isn't as useful, because I would gladly be a skivvy for any man who would have me, and would meet all his demands no matter how badly he treated me. But for girl's with self-esteem and options it's great, and includes a `B#####d Survival Strategy'.

In chapter 2, Tracy asks us to make a man plan and visualize our perfect man, physically- I got very excited at this part - and in terms of personality. You can fill out her form or write an essay about you ideal hunk. It's important to detail every aspect of your man so you don't end up with someone you don't want. I found it difficult to do this as I like both cute boys from boy-bands and big hairy bears - I swoon and blush when I look at Boyzone AND The Rock !

Meeting guys can be tricky, and Tracy suggests we make a list of the pros and cons of meeting guys, in different situations, and choose the best one for us. My idea is to put on a pink mini skirt and tight top and hang around bars at the end of the night and hope someone will be drunk and desperate enough to hit on me, but for attractive girls with personalities, intelligence and self-respect there are many options.

Next, Tracy talks us through the first date and the excitement of the first date and discovering your man's love language. Asking him the right questions to find out how he ticks, and boosting his ego by showing an interest in him are very important according to Tracy. This was very interesting, but a bit over my head. My strategy before I read it would have been to smile and giggle at everything my hunk said and tell him how brilliant and funny he is, while letting him look down my blouse.

Tracy then takes us through the different types of men and how they react to the world and different situations. There are 3 types and Tracy gives us girls a great insight into how they tick. I know men don't think like me and to be able to get inside a man's head is so important to a sissy girl like me in knowing how to behave.

There is a large section on `mirroring' which advises us to notice how our man moves, speaks and thinks and try to subtley mirror him to create both chemistry and trust between you and your man. This section also helps you choose what to wear and discusses what signals you wish to give off in your choice of clothes. The outfits I would choose to wear on a date tend to say `I'm desperate and I'll do anything to get a man', but I think Tracy's main audience are those with a higher IQ and sense of self than me.

The section about communicating with your man in bed, suggests open communication with your man must start subtley but can eventually lead to a happier sex life. Again this contrasts with my approach of doing whatever my man tells me, and being an obedient sex-toy.

My strategy of being an obedient bimbo and immediately offering my body for constant use, and saying I'll do anything - including all his housework and laundry as long as he'll let me serve him sexually - is not recommended by Tracy for obvious reasons. Instead she suggests gradually opening yourself up to your man as the trust between you grows and the sharing becomes mutual.

All in all, this is a great book for women who want to meet the man of their dreams and have a healthy, loving, trusting relationship. For a teen-bimbo like me , it was a bit complicated, and I will probably stick with my giggling, pink-mini-skirted, bimbo-slut strategy. Good luck in your quest. Go girls !!!

An interesting read with pointers for those who enjoy learnning how to improve communications between beloveds or future beloveds. I read it in an evening and managed to watch for some key points when dealing with members of the opposite sex.

This book was a very interesting way of looking at relationships. I had a hard time reading the entire book because about half way through, it suggested that I change who I am to be more like the guy I wanted to fall in love with me. I am just not willing to change myself that much, so I don't think that I was a very good candidate for the book. I had a difficult time believing that it is morally correct to make someone fall in love with you when you are not acting completely like yourself. After reading this book you may spend more time focusing on all of its rules then actually getting to know the guy. I do think that it is an interesting read but try not to hang on its every word.

My friends and I had a secondhand copy of this in college (there must have been an earlier edition, because the amazon listing shows it as having been originally published in 87 but we were definitely reading it in the dorm in 85) to howls of amusement --which is NOT to say we didn't try some of Tracy's tactics. I vividly remember an evening at the ice cream shop near campus, my eyes riveted to the man of my dreams across the table, mirroring his every gesture and move -- my friends around the table cracking up because they had all read the book and all knew exactly what I was up to.

For the record, it did not work. It does not work. Any so-called "scientific" or "fool-proof" method to "make" someone fall in love with you DOES NOT WORK. Get over it. Save your money.

This is the dumbest book I ever read. I've had plenty of men in love with me and not by following these manipulating tricks. But I must sat that the reason I did not like this book is my fault. Apparently I thought the title was How to make ANY man fall in love with you. But the actual title suggest just a plain simple man. It could be anyone including the wrong one. Any woman can use tricks to make a man fall in love with her. What woman has never had a man in love with her? None of that matters if she can't get the one that she really wants to fall (the one that is meant for her). We must question if a man in falling in love with you based on trickery, is it really love and does he really love you (the real you)? The book doesn't say much but puts men into catagories and give you key words to say to each man all the while messing with the natural flow of conversation. It takes too long to get to the point on each topic and is redundant in most paragraphs. It spends a lot of time telling things that are just common sense such as don't try to make him jealous because it will run him away and don't reveal too much too soon and don't be too needy. There are far better books out there. Read one of those.

I read this book and "landed" my ex-husband by doing the "mirroring" technique.The result was I pretended to be someone I wasn't and compromised far too much for an abusive, scary man. I'm no psychiatrist but you shouldn't have to "make" or "trick" someone into loving you...it nullifies the entire point of finding love to begin with. Love yourself first and find someone kind, thoughtful, considerate who loves you for yourself. You don't need this crap-ola book. It nearly ruined my life.

Between this book and David Gibbons' "Love Signals" you have a very powerful arsenault. After years of dating, I read these two books and began to use the suggestions at work and play. I did better at work and I managed to find a great guy who I have now been married to for over 18 years. The book suggests that you try to determine what "language" the prospective "husband" uses in his life to communicate. Is he audial? Responds to sounds. Visual? Tends to learn by viewing, or is able to think spatially like an architect or engineer? Or is he a touchy, feely guy who learns through feelings and touching or manipulating things like a mechanic. Once you identify this, the book teaches you how to communicate in his language style. In addition, it teaches you how to act in a relationship similar to "The Rules" only this book predated "The Rules" and has more concrete information. Enjoy it, but don't use the techniques lightly, they can be highly manipulative.

For any man a woman would want to be married to, or any woman a man would want to be married to, there is no such thing as "making someone fall in love with you." Love is either recognizable or not, based upon the attentiveness and treatment that accompanies the territory of love, a person's understanding of it, and willingness to make a commitment to it for their own sake to provide the pleasure of loving, as well as receiving love. Love induced, or forced, is rarely a love that has he ability to satisfy the inner most reaches of the heart that are protected from ordinary trampling, and reserved for those special persons who have the ability to awaken its vitality and momentum. Otherwise we'd all be promiscuous and compromising of our greatest value, the ability to have one special person see us as unique enough to create the attachment that equals the glory of love. Ornaments come and go, by fad, but love lingers in the heart, the mind, and the soul where it resides unfettered by the typical offences that would tarnish it, rendering it an ordinary relationship of little difference than a friendship. That's why it is called love and demands so much of us, as if testing the mettle of all who would claim the intricacy of its devine blessings. Deciding which is love and which is not is among the hardest and most difficult of the tasks engaged by mankind, in any language. What people know for sure is that it is not mere sexual attraction, and is not meant to reside in mere availability. Real love is real work that requires real and intense effort by both to send the smoke signals that constitute its possibility and its potential. Rarely is it for the timid, and rarely do we enter it without timidity!

The book works. It proviedes the reader with a working plan to develop an intimate relationship with a significant other. I used the plan on some unworthy "test" subjects and found them hard to get rid of. When it came time for me to use it on the man I deemed man of my dreams... it worked! I am now happily married to a great guy. Even though, this is my second marriage and I came with a bunch of kids... he loved me and wanted to have a lifelong committment with me.

Neuro Linguistic Programming (NLP for short) is very powerful if done correctly. This book focuses on how you can "program his brain" during your courting period to help move "love" along. Tracy does a very good job of describing how it works. If you don't know what an "anchor" is a relationship, this is a good place to start.

It's important to remember that the subject of dating/courtship/relationships is the size of North America, and learning NLP is only enough information to fill up the state of Florida. If you rely ONLY on NLP, you're missing out on the magic of a relationship. (I'm not just talking about that indefinable thing known as chemistry, but I'm talking about the deeply satisfying friendship that results from a true love relationship.)

There are a lot of books that you can read once, glean a few gems, and come out ahead. This isn't one of those. This is meant to be a manual that is studied, tried, tested and perfected.

As a dating expert, I understand the importance of NLP to cement a relationship. But many novice NLP'ers get frustrated when trying to apply this scientific approach to the emotional experience of dating. Remember when you first learned to ride a bicycle? Unless you were a super-athlete at 5, you probably fell off your bike a time or two. The same is true with using NLP to reel in a lover. It takes both patience and practice. But if you're serious about getting a leg-up on the competition, add this book to your library of dating books. After all, information is power!

There's a lot of truth here. Tracy is talking about something that most of us don't think about.

Ever notice that when you are very mutually attracted to another person, your movements seem to be in sync, rapport just seems to "flow"?

Ever also notice that you can meet a very nice, wonderful person, but nervous or jerky mannerisms on their part can kill the attraction? They aren't "syncing" with you.

After practicing her techniques, I found myself *becoming* more attracted to the other party.

Dr. Tracy's principles have helped me recognize my own nervous mannerisms, and also the other's. Her principles of "anchoring" offer a great way to calm down a nervous person so you can really get to know them. And the "love spell" in this case works on YOU.

As a former trainer in NLP for 7 years I've always been impressed with how effective these techniques are for creating internal change (habits, behaviors, disciplines, overcoming fears, sales, etc.)

But the ability to create change in other people (like getting a man to fall in love with you) is something that I believe from my experience in the field almost no one can achieve on their own with NLP.

I wrote my fishy relationship/self-help book because I saw how different the real works as opposed to the NLP-seminar-John Gray-Tony Robbins models. That experience came from dating in Southern California and going on a lot of cruises and Club Med vacations.

What I found is that people who try to use NLP techniques come across as being weird. It also has a strange way of messing with the natural karma of love. For whatever reason, when you try to get someone else to fall in love with you through an organized skill set like this, it has a way of ruining the magic for yourself.

What is important to know from Tracy's book are the general concepts of sensory acuity and anchoring. Sensory acuity comes in handy when you recognize when you get an instant negative reaction (like bad breath, body odor, unappealing voice, talk too fast, talk too loud, talk too slow, talk too much). These things cause a person to be out of rapport. Which means an unconscious bad first impression.

Anchoring has to do with creating stirring memories or special moments. This book is about the mechanics of creating those moments which is all right, but the average person needs to feel it come naturally from within.

If a woman really wants to know how to get a man to fall in love, she must first maximize her own feminine allure (Being a Woman by Dr. Toni Grant) and then make her contacts and develop relationships. Dr. Cabot's work will help you with identifying technical mistakes, but not some much about having more to give (variety, intensity, heart), cleansing the spirit, and understanding and appreciating a love partner.

As an author, NLP trainer, and semi-relationship expert, I think that this book addresses the 20% of mechanics when it's done right (a very difficult task without years of training and integration...not just in a simple reading of a book!) But what most people really need is the 80% of how loving relationships work from within on the emotional-spiritual world.

My advice here is to enjoy this book and become more aware of instant triggers, but don't get carried away and become a weirdo!

Weirdness spooks men away quickly!

Remember that love is far more spiritual than mechanical.

I read Tracy Cabot's book, How To Make a Man Fall In Love With You, years ago, when I was 15 years younger, and always looking for the "answer" to learning how to bridge the Mars vs Venus gap, though I didn't have a name for the gap back then. Like another reviewer who talks about the three modes from which we communicate and respond, which are visually, auditorially, and kinesthetically, I had studied Neuro Linguistic Programming, among other studies in an attempt to strengthen my communication skills. Fifteen years later, as an adult educator, I often recommend Tracy Cabot's book in my classes on communication, because I believe that it is a simple way to learn this marvelous technique for communicating not only between the two sexes, but between any two human beings. Where else can you find so many wonderful tips on communication in such an inexpensive, easy to read, little package? I just wish that Tracy would put together a wonderful training video on these skills.

In her now-classic work, Tracy Cabot employs (consciously or not) learning theory in the quest of finding and connecting with men. Based on my graduate work in education I have learned that human beings respond cognitively in primarily three modes: visually, auditorially, or kinesthetically. How fascinating that this research-based information can be applied outside the classroom as well!

In addition to giving much information about engendering intimacy, the book also features some great suggestions for improving the search for appropriate contacts in the first place.

In my opinion, the advice given in this book is too complicated.
You have to find out to what category a man belongs (it explains how to find out) and then, according to this category, try to make him fall in love with you. I found it very difficult to put into practice.

WHENEVER I HAVE A FRIEND WITH MAN TROUBLES I ALWAYS RECOMMEND THIS BOOK. ALTHOUGH I TELL THEM THE TITLE IS A LITTLE EMBARRASSING, THE INFO IS PRICELESS! I HAVE USED THE TECHNIQUES ON SOME OF THE MOST COMMITMENT PHOBIC MEN AND WITHIN NO TIME FLAT THEY WERE PROFESSING THEIR LOVE FOR ME. THE INFORMATION IN THIS BOOK WORKS SO WELL THAT IT IS A TRIP TO SEE IT WORKING BEFORE YOUR VERY EYES. I RECOMMEND THAT YOU KEEP IT HANDY, IT IS SO EASY TO TAKE YOUR RELATIONSHIP FOR GRANTED ONCE YOU KNOW THAT A MAN IS YOURS. IF YOU KEEP PRACTICING THE TECHNIQUES I BELIEVE THAT YOUR MAN WILL LOVE YOU FOREVER.

If you could sit in a roomful of men and ask them what it takes to get a man more interested in you, here is where you will find their answers. This is one of those underestimated books that should be a must read. If you want a better insight into what it takes to be more appealing and interesting to men, read this! You'll be surprised by what you have been missing.

Perry Rose, author of I Love You...Will You Marry Me?!

This book, though written for a female audience can be used by sexes with simular success.However one needs to understand that Ms. Cabots book was written and published for a wide distribution and like most self help books it overlooks many areas of human behavioral complexity that one will encounter in any attempts to persuade or influence. This book will serve as a good introduction to nlp and romance creation. The most important point(in this book) that one can learn is that romance, love, lust happens through a process that one can learn and repeat over and over (if one so desires). If one uses techniques of this book they will certainly empower their chances of creating a romantic relationship,but it will on a hit and miss basis because more knowledge and training will be needed (as already mentioned). Another good beginners book is Intant Rapport by Michael Brooks. It deals with the same subject in more detail. For those desiring even more training in applied nlp they could look up essential-skills on their search engine. I beleive Ms Cabot also teaches seminars in those areas. I know these techniques work as I have used them with success. Happy hunting Art

I have read the book, out of sheer curiosity. But why in the world would you want to "make" someone fall in love with you? You can't "make" someone do anything! I think basically what Ms. Cabot is saying is that you have to alter your own way of communicating and constantly edit yourself to make sure you are talking in the way that your man is talking. I, for one, would find that very confusing and stressful! I do think she has the right idea about making a list of the exact qualities you are looking for and that's why I gave it one star.

I started reading this book with mixed feelings - after all, I had joined a singles club and in one year had not met anyone that sent my heart into flip flops. After following Tracy's advice about making a list of the qualities I wanted to find in a man, I was able to narrow down my search and within 4 months had found the man I am going to spend my life with. More importantly, I weeded out those men whose personalities did not work with mine and stopped trying to change myself just to "save the relationship". Thanks, Tracy - your book made my day!

This book is a manual in applied nero-linguistic programming. The idea is that all people tend to express themselves in language that represents the way they see the world, primarily in feeling, hearing, or visual terms. To this end, the book may be quite useful, not merely in sexual situations or those involving a close relationship between two people, but in many sorts of social interaction (for example, the pioneers of NLP originally designed it to aid in teaching music to their pupils). The books contains a wealth of excellent information about the communication styles of people and how one can alter one's own communication style so as to make better impressions and to get across better. particularly useful was the information on "mirroring", i.e., adopting the bodily postures of other people so as to give them the unconsciously perceived notion that one is either affected by them or is sympatico with regards to them. The claims that the author makes, however, are ludicrous. People are complicated beings and they cannot be reudced down to such simplistic terms. One example she give is quite telling: she has a lady say that she loves a man, using an improper communication style. He quickly dumps her because he takes offence at her words. Please! Unless a man is an absolute moron (sure, most of us guys might be idiots, but then why would you want one of those to fall in love with you?), he would have to be intelligent enough to understand what his lady was trying to say. One cannot "make" someone else fall in love with you, and the techniques are by no means guaranteed like Cabot seems to think. Human beings are not automatons. Still, it could be a very valuable guidebook for politicians and others who need to be able to influence other people tactufully without them realising what is happening. Another manual in manipulating others is the "Satanic Witch" by Anton LaVey; it takes a rather opposite approach, but could be even more effective under suitable circumstances. Still, the book does open the door to dimensions of communication that are largely ignored in our society, but which still have an affect on our behaviour.

I read this when I was a teenager. It was very inspiring to me back then. Since then I have learned that men and women, as human beings, are not so simplistic as the book assumes. Whether a man loves a woman or not is not necessarily only because the woman is doing the techniques/things that the book teaches. (At the very least, I wouldn't want to marry a man that is that simplistic and "manipulatable".) The theory can be seen as part of the whole picture, though, and it certainly is an interesting theory at that. The book is an especially interesting read if you are in the "boy crazy" stages of your life.

Because of the title I was embarassed to even buy the book but it provided a great lesson in what I had been doing wrong in relationships. I applied the lessons in the book and have been very happily married for 14 years. Like any self-help book, you have to sift through what is good for you but it really gives you some great pointers on how we communicate in life not just with a potential spouse but with everyone. Another good book I read back then was "Love Signals", I don't know if you can still get it but it was great too.

There are many important concepts about the difference in communication styles between men & women. But some of the "trying to read his mind" segments were a bit silly and unbelievable. I love her idea about making a list describing the ideal man & then keeping yourself on track by only dating men who resemble your ideal, so that you don't waste time with incompatible losers.

I read the book and found it to be confusing and uninformative

this techniques outlined in this book are an excellent way to find a good man and still be yourself! you learn how to talk to a guy in a way he can understand and relate to, then you can talk to him about anything! in "The Rules" they basically say you can't talk to him at all, and that's wrong. if you follow the techniques in this book you are on your way to finding someone who you can be yourself with and have a good relationship.

This book gives an overview of the different styles of communication used by various people and how communucation can be made easier and more effective once those differences are identified. The claims made in the book are a bit overstated, but the premises are accurate.

For the last couple of years, I have given this book to every woman who ever had a sincere desire to succeed in business and in life. Tracy Cabot simplified for the reader the differences in communications between men and women. Using the information has made a very substantial difference in my relationships with men off all ages. This is the first"how to" book that I have read, that really worked. Applying the information has helped me dance on the "glass ceiling".

Tracy Cabot captured my feelings and those of 100's of women when she taught us how to basically catch and keep a man. I have just recently married and I must say that I took her advice of leaving a dead end relationship and now meeting the man of my dreams. She has honestly showed me the way to happiness in a giving and satisfying relationship. I never new I wanted what I have now until I read her book! A must read