This book is funny in parts, but a bit dated since it's from the 80's. A typical, "Oh woe is me, I am single and have no boyfriend, however, if I meet someone and he likes me and treats me well, then I'm scared! I don't actually want a commitment, I want to be single!"

I really wanted to like this book. With a great title like that, I expected it to be a comic look at the relations between men and women, likely coming hard down on the side of women. Instead, it is a mismash of New York angst mixed with the fading regret of yet another runaway from the 60s. In short, choppy doses (each section was originally published as individual essays in Playboy, Cosmopolitan, or The Village Voice), Heimel raves against the world, but not of it ever is funny enough to make you laugh out loud or close enough for that frission of understanding to occur. Oh, you might be able to identify with her if you are a single mother of a teenage son who supports herself by writing in Manhattan, but I wouldn't take bets on it.

The essays are grouped into sections labled "The Times," "Women," "Men," "Women and Men," and "The Writer's Life." The best stuff is in "The Times" such as "Notes on Black" about how all the trendy people who were the originators of the black look are conspiring to forgo it for another color until all the sheep quit wearing it, then they'll go back. The worst stuff is in "The Writer's Life," which should instead have been entitled "Cynthia Heimel's Life" because I saw nothing there that resembled any other writer I know.

I guess I looked in the wrong place. I had noticed that I had a lot of comic stuff by men on my shelf, but nothing by a woman, so I browsed the shelves and came up with this. I'm not necessarily a fan of the comic essay (Dave Barry probably being the prime example of it today, and whom I can read but I never feel like purchasing a whole volume of his stuff). In essays, I tend to like humorous political commentary (say Molly Ivins or P.J. O'Rourke) better than Andy Rooney style essays on the little things of life. Instead I should have picked up comic fiction by a woman, I guess--except I'm not aware of any. Zora Neale Huston? Anyway, with due apologies to Heimel, I can live without her.

Heimel is brilliant. I do love her work. Her essay on "Clothes and PMS", included in this book, stands as one of the funniest things I have ever read ("I am a symphony of reds!" she sings, before she is saved from herself). Her slightly embittered, I-don't-even-want-to-know approach to life rings true.

The only place the book sags is when it tries to be too serious. Heimel should stick to comedy. Some people just can't be trusted with biting social commentary. About a third of the book seems to fall within this category. I skipped most of that. But the rest is pure genius, with insight and wit.

Cynthia Heimel's "If You Can't Live Without Me, Why Aren't You Dead Yet?" is a collection of her columns from the Village Voice, Playboy, and Cosmo. The book is half painful wisdom, half male-oriented feminist anger, and half fall-on-the-floor-laugh-out-loud comedy. If you think that doesn't add up right, you haven't taken into account that anger can be funny, and sometimes even wise. The columns date from the 1980's and are totally New York oriented, so if you don't think the Big Apple is the center of the universe you may find yourself annoyed, and the discussion of drug use will profoundly disturb some. But Heimel's not out to offend--she's just an urban divorced mother trying to live a worthwhile life. She's caught in the crossfire of mindless masculinity and rabid feminism, looking for a safe place for a love life, a job, and a family. Her most moving columns are about her son, and "Childhood is Powerful" should be required reading for prospective parents. In it, she talks about guilt, and how honesty with your child is more important than parental authority; and how limits must not be placed on your child in order to create that authority. "As much as love, empathy cures all evils." And "For Rent: Empty Nest" is a tear-and-smile inducing bit of writing that will resonate with every mother. "If You Can't Live Without Me, Why Aren't You Dead Yet?" isn't a perfect book, but it's bite-sized slices of life are well worth the price of admission, especially if your date is paying!

I read this book just recently and laughed at many of the sections. It's very funny for the young and modern woman. Beats down some stereotypes, which is always good.