Wonderfully silly camp classic musical b movie. If you like The Rocky Horror Picture Show you will LOVE this.

I first found this movie many years ago when I sawit on The Movie Channel when we had cable. I know it is kind of a cheesy movie but I really liked the soundtrack and will watch anything Catherine Mary Stewart is in and that is how I also came across the movie. Now I can go onto looking for other movies from my past I would like to see again.

or Greatest Movie Never Seen! Wow, I had a smile on my face and was shaking my head in disbelief throughout this whole movie. It just got better and better! Like rubber-necking at a horrific accident, you watch, stunned, with your mouth wide open! This is SO FUN! If you were a teenager in the 80's you will appreciate and enjoy this!

It's 1980 predicting what 1994 will be like. It's a love story. It's Satan vs. God. Characters sing their lines. Cars of the future resemble 70's station wagons! Unbelieveable costumes and makeup. There are hippies. The main character wears his jeans so tight he walks like he has braces on his legs. There's a surreal ballet number in an abandoned convention center. A demonic cave. An oh-so-subtle sex song. Jewish transvestities! Harry Potter's Professor Sprout! God drives a pimpmobile! Triangles! And it all comes together in one big fat mess!

Long Live Bibi and Alphie!

My sister is getting a copy of this for Christmas; she will HOWL!

It is difficult to convey just how dreadful this antiquated disco-era (1980) musical is. Apparently the idea was to create a spoof of pop music and pop musicals like "The Rocky Horror Picture Show" with a truly diabolical figure (Satan, basically) trying to control the lives of two wholesome kids from Moose Jaw, Saskatchewan in an authoritarian regime of his making. But in "Rocky," the references are witty, everything from Rockabilly to the Judy Garland legend. "The Apple" contains music that is derived from the pop music of the era, including the ballad, the big production number, the satire, and of course the disco number. All original songs and almost entirely very, very bad.

Nor is the acting much better, being too earnest to signify camp yet nowhere near good enough to invoke quality. I will say that the female lead dances and sings(her voice?) beautifully, where she gets to strut her stuff, in the high-energy number "Speed." Yet the script is cliche boy-meets-girl-loses-girl plot, which doesn't even have the sense to resolve itself. At the movie's end (spoiler alert) salvation comes in the form of a godlike leader, truly a deus ex machina--in fact, in this case the machina appears to be a golden Lincoln Continental from Heaven.

The dance sequences are generally flat and trite, usually a chorus line's worth of dancers clad in identical costumes (thank you Reynolds Wrap) doing air-punches and pelvic thrusts not much more challenging than any aerobic-dance class. Cheesy, pseudo-futuristic settings (the film is set in the "faraway" future of 1994), truly regrettable costuming for all involved and stagey, insipid camera work make THE APPLE a hard film to like even as a camp. Oh, it provoked laughter in me, but just a couple of derisive chuckles at the sheer awfulness of it all.

See and enjoy THE WIZ, XANADU or CAN'T STOP THE MUSIC for what they are. But don't waste your time on this rancid all-day sucker.

This film, released in 1980 and prognosticating all the way to 1994 is a Golan-Globus production, and is essentially a reworking of the Faust legend. (After viewing it I have to wonder if Menahem Golan made a horrible pact with the devil.) I have seen an enormous number of terrible movies in my life, but this is right at the top of the heap for unadulterated camp. I will note now that the four star rating is obviously due to the "so bad it's good quality" of the film rather than any intrinsic redeeming qualities the film actually has.

The film opens at a wretched music contest where the awful band promoted by "Mr. Boogalow" (Vladek Sheybal) is neck in neck with a small-time duo from Moose Jaw, Saskatchewan, the cloying Bibi and Alphie. Boogalow resorts to devious means to win, but feels threatened enough to attempt to sign them to contracts. Boogalow give them little time to read the contracts and since they don't have legal representation, Alphie refuses to sign, while Bibi signs her soul away. If all this symbolism wasn't clear enough, there is a musical field trip to the lake of fire proving Boogalow's real identity; as a further confirmation Bibi is presented with an apple (not golden or delicious) that she is pressured into biting.

After the premise that music agents are analogous to the devil (not far from the truth in some instances) is firmly established, we learn that in the future cars feature completely ridiculous profiles, that triangles are the only shape sanctioned by B.I.M. (Boogalow's agency), and that B.I.M. and the government are essentially one organization. I was especially amused by the concept of the "National Fitness Program" (a government program sponsored by our favorite Faustian NGO, B.I.M.), though less amused by the dancing involved. On the other end of the spectrum, I was completely unamused by Vladek Sheybal's singing voice when he solos in "The Master," perhaps the worst vocal performance since the day of Florence Foster Jenkins.

Bibi gets a makeover and becomes wildly successful, while Alphie continues to write horrid folk songs and live in a dump. Eventually Alphie decides living in a cave under a bridge is better than his apartment, so he moves in with a commune of hippies with names like "Lotus Blossom." Bibi escapes the clutches of Boogalow and company and joins Alphie, only to have the entire commune arrested for harboring a fugitive. Yes, Bibi is wanted for breach of contract and Boogalow and his team of lawyers and police show up for a final confrontation of Lawyers versus Hippies. This posed a conundrum: which group is less appealing? No, I jest: the movie makes it clear that it is a battle of good and evil on a titanic scale. When our heroes have seemingly no options left, the film takes a spiritual turn and presents some theology decidedly not found in the Bible. The alleged deity, "Mr. Topps," shows up in a golden Rolls-Royce in the sky, turns the hippies to angels, and utterly defeats Boogalow in a scene that must be seen to be believed. I am sure this must have had something to do with the fact that the film was way over budget due to the cost of the insane costumes and musical numbers; well, that and the production team had absolutely no idea how to wrap up this mess.

The film is low on dialogue, but high on musical numbers. It's kind of like a steam roller: once you are relieved that a musical number is over (and you will be), another one starts. The costumes and makeup are delightfully kitsch (I especially like the silver lipstick and the triangular face stickers) and leave no doubt as to when this was made. This film is truly jaw-dropping. I am not especially fond of musicals, but love cheesy movies of all varieties. This is an especially runny, excrementally smelly Camembert, putting it near the top of the bad movie menu of fine cheeses.

"The Apple" is highly recommended for anyone who believes they have seen a film so bad that there is not one worse.

Come on...take the dare...bite "The Apple."