This book was highly recommended to me so I went and read it. He has some insight in to women like how men think analytically and women emotionally. he uses a lot of poetry and verbose quite a lot but the basis of the book is just that. If you enjoy poetry and want to try some of the authors meditations practices then you might enjoy this more than I.

Here's some of the chapter headings in this book:

She Wants the "Killer" In You

Turn Your Lust Into Gifts

Use Her Attractiveness As A Slingshot Through Appearance

Don't Force The Feminine To Make Decisions

You Will Often Want More Than One Woman

Each Woman Has a "Temperature" That Can Heal Or Irritate You

Controversial stuff, huh? The concepts in this book are difficult for many people who were children in the seventies. You didn't have to be raised by hippies to have been exposed to the egalitarian mood of that age. Some boys were given dolls. Some girls were given toy guns. Almost all had equality preached to them.

"Boys - there's nothing wrong with you being nurturing."

"Girls - you can be warriors."

In my case we had sex ed. every year from third grade until the last year of high school. We spent a long time on the concept that anyone can be or do anything he or she wants to be or do.

Preachers of equality weren't wrong. Many women have served well in the military. Many men have served well as the primary caregivers in their family.

None of that should take away from the fundamental truth: men and women ARE different. The reactions of the seventies were due to a lack of respect and understanding being accorded to one sex and these reactions weren't just about sex it was also about race too. As a society, we've improved.

Still, given that conditioning, many of the concepts in this book are perceived as offensive. Just look at some of the other reviews.

Male and female ARE opposite. One of Deida's main points is that men are driven by a sense of mission while a woman's search for love touches her core. The book helps one explore these concepts and what they mean to an individual. It's a classic in the sense that, as you live, you get something new out of it every time you read it because you start to realize more about yourself and others.

The way I best understood what truth Deida was leading his reader to is to think about what terms and in what way people criticize others. A man without a sense of mission is characterized as someone who's wishy-washy, weak and ungrounded. A woman without a sense of mission isn't vilified in those same terms (unless she's in a leadership position). It's a bad for members of both sexes to be perceived as wishy-washy but most would say a man is criticized more roundly.

What about an unloving woman? She's called cold, harsh - a bitch! An unloving man isn't excoriated that way. People are more likely to say he's misunderstood.

These truths are not self-evident. Men and women don't think and aren't gratified by the same things. Keeping in mind the differences can immeasurably improve one's romantic life and work life. It can prevent divorce or get you married to the right person. The importance of the wisdom in this book cannot be understated - it deserves not one reading but many.

I don't know why I depend on this book when I feel weak, depressed, sad, or passive. I read also when I am in need for inspiration and courage for direction in life and love. I find that I didn't agree with his ideas but in time something he wrote will come to mind and start making sense and feel exactly like he wrote. For example "live as if your father were dead" was one that did not hit home at first. Now that my sick father has confesed that he will not make it for 3 more months, I feel grief and pain, yet a liberation of something profound.

I also find that when I am not following my deepest purpose and not living with integrity, I feel dumb, slow, depressed, and unattractive. When I live with purpose and integrity, I am energetic, alive, happy, and very attractive and charismatic. My experience with every male friend who is not living to his potential, is always, always because of his passiveness, fear of following his purpose, and/or putting women first. It is sad but very true. I recently recommended this book to a friend who's on the gray zone of life. After reading this book, he projected his current life problem's to what David Deida talks about. This book is causing him to wake up and keeps challenging his mind.

The most painful parts are "dont change your mind to please a woman", "she doesnt really want to be number one", and "dont force the femenine to make decisions". The best relationship and time with women were when I was at my peak. Going to college, exercising, working hard, inspired, productive and full of purpose. Women flowed constantly in my direction. They would even ask me out and pay for dinner or any opportunity to be with me. I then met my ex girlfriend who loved me for what I was and who I was being, then suddenly I stopped doing all these things just to be with her and she was becoming distant and unattracted to me. She even mentioned that I didnt have a backbone or direction anymore. I lost my direction and purpose and it all went down. I learned the bad way, and continue to learn everyday from this book. Please give it time, and notice how it all ties with the experiences in your life.

I definitely recommend this book. It has helped me become mentally stronger, as well as better understand what is going on in the mind of my girlfriend. I think I am now giving off a better aura of confidence, which she notices (either consciously or subconsciously). I think I have earned more respect from her. The only reason I didn't give this 5 stars is because I didn't understand some of the "mystical" ideas Deida presented in the book (i.e. how beer and music are feminine things). I do tend to like a lot of Taoist ideas, and Deida uses these a lot.

This is amazing. I purchase this book in volumn and give it to friends... men and woman.